Today smells like...

It's the baby's due date. Which is really just a dated target.
Two weeks ago, if I had a nickel for every:
pack your bag - mine came 2 weeks early
make sure you __________ because she can come anytime

Then the due date finally hits, and my nickels multiply:
you're so prepared - mine came 2 weeks late
you've still got time!
make sure you __________ because she can come anytime

Advice today comes as follows:
go sleep and enjoy your last bit of freedom
eat chinese
get a pedicure
walk.walk.walk.walk.
drive down a bumpy road
do squats

Sigh.
My Type A has turned this pregnancy thing into the longest road of my life.
We've had YOUR name for a decade.
The registry has been done since May, and closed since October.
YOUR room has been 80% complete since June, 90% ready since September.
We have slept. (Like, in bed by 8pm, up at 11am the following...to pass some time).
We aren't concerned about a loss of freedom - our book is about out of chapters without YOU.
We ate Chinese Saturday night.
Lil' Momma is getting a pedicure, and an oil change, and a dilation check tomorrow.
We have walked the mall and Costco and used bumpy dirt roads to get there.
She did squats tonight, until she pulled a muscle and went back to bouncing on her exercise ball.

If today were a scent, it would be Jury Duty with a hint of Home Depot Hot Dogs.

You get the Jury Summons. You anticipate the date. There is a lot of "hurry up to wait." Could be selected, could be released. Outcome unknown until it just happens. Could be a quick case, could be the OJ trial.

You know they smell better than they taste. If you give in, you'll wish you hadn't. If you walk by, you'll wish you had given in and just eaten the damn thing. Either way, you're dwelling on a hot dog.

I should be scrambling to turn this house upside down, clean it from top to bottom, and treat each passing hour as a bonus. Yet, I sit and stare or walk in circles or kick the exercise ball repeatedly against the footboard of the bed until I realize I've been doing it for 10 minutes and its obscenely obnoxious to the dog - who by the way, has stopped following me around because even he has decided my traffic patterns are exhausting.

If you were here, I'd still be useless, but at least it would be time spent staring at YOU.

mjg

I'm Not Patient

we've had your name waiting for you for over a decade.

we've always talked about you like you're just in the other room napping.

we've included you in our plans all along.

we've prepared for you.

we've laughed about you.

we've cried tears of joy over you.

we're ready, for as ready as new parents can be.

so.

when does the party start?

cuz, i'm wearing anticipation tracks in the carpet.

i say you're stubborn. your mom says you're patient.

she would say that. let's hope you're just like her.

i'm waiting, impatiently, you little stubborn.perfect.7lb peanut.

the coast is clear now.

come snuggle with me.

mjg

Education is Momentum

So, we will just take each step backward as propelling energy to take 3 steps forward.

Our love is a demonstration of education.

We're normal. What is normal anyway? It's a dumb word. Nothing is normal. Life is filled with ups and downs, and scares and triumphs, and fears and joys. And really, I've never been normal, if we must abide by definitions. Or maybe I'm totally normal, to which that can't be normal....
 Anyhow.

Autumn & I tackled having this baby head on. And educated along the way.

We picked our donor from a database while vacationing on a balcony in Hawaii.

We walked into our Fertility Dr's office and acted as if "Duh, this is what we want to do. My egg. Her body. Our child. You in, Doc?" And he said, "um, that's expensive..." And we said "So."
And so we started the process. I signed my egg over to Autumn, who is the sole owner - Because technically, I'm an egg donor, signing away rights to the egg - and, Doc had to scratch his head a few times because the paperwork wasn't written to accommodate egg donation in which the egg donor would still remain the parent.....In true M & A fashion, we smirked our way through it, and said "We'll figure it out. We always do." And with that, we taught our Doctor, anything is possible with love...and some money;)

We walked into our OB's office just like any other couple. We used the same door. We used the same sign in sheet. We're having a baby, like everyone else. I went to almost every one of Autumn's OB appts throughout pregnancy - there weren't ever many accompanying men in the waiting room with their pregnant counterparts, but whatever. ;)

We met the pediatrician last week. We walked in and introduced ourselves as a couple, so we could establish from day 1 that we come as a package deal. And of course, we wanted to know what paperwork would need to be on file so I can bring our future sniffling & sneezing peanut to their office without Autumn's consent.

This is our story. This is us. And this is how we do.
When you are confident and comfortable, in a quiet & calm way, the world around you becomes confident and comfortable too. Cool, huh?

mjg

I, too, had a dream.

i had a lackluster care for marriage equality.
"some day."
but when michigan granted marriage equality and we celebrated for 23 hours and all of a sudden my love gained validation and we made verbal plans and then the imperial AG appealed and it stayed and then like that i felt the suckerpunch.
and it was that moment i decided i give a really big damn. because dammit, i'm no less of a contributing citizen than you and you just dangled a carrot in front of me and it touched my lips and i don't like when i can taste something but i don't get to chew it and then decide to spit or swallow.

i remember being a young girl and daydreaming.
daydreaming of white flowers and a long aisle and it being outside somewhere and most often i was busy making the mental list of my bridal party. never once did i picture myself in a wedding dress. but i pictured just about everything else. and as time went on everything remained but the list would be updated, in case, of course, it finally mattered.
aside from the dress part, isn't that a normal daydream for any little girl from any where, who dreams of finding love and then sealing it in front of those important and then vowing to uphold it and live it and breathe it and be it?
it shouldn't be a matter of concern to any outside party who it is standing at one end of an aisle and who it is standing at the other.
it should be a matter of concern however that inequality exists. subhuman snubbing by self-proclaimed superiors, as if they know a love greater than mine.
love is love.
don't call it marriage then, if it bothers you so much. if my happiness creeps into your kitchen while you're having dinner with your precious family, and then rattles you to your core, so much so you can't enjoy the bite of your wife's perfect meatloaf. but call it something and allow me the rights you have, the 1,138 statutory provisions that the unmarried don't. allow me the right to be my daughter's legal parent. that comes with marriage equality too, ya know.

this discussion is getting old.
it isn't even a discussion.
political leverage?
campaign fodder?
whatever.
it's downright annoying by now.
GROW UP.

[-written after the overturned decision in March-]

Today, we await another decision.

"Get it right today, 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. "Arguments in the marriage equality cases in 4 states will be heard today in front of a three judge panel." There's nothing to argue about. Why must we argue? Love is love. And it's not so we can throw a big party...it's so I can legally be the parent of my girl that's coming in 14 weeks! #equality #loveislove #babyontheway" -mg, FB status, 8/6/14

Today, we wait again.

"I don't ever go political on here. But Autumn and I are advocates for education, especially after yesterday's announcement in Michigan. Marriage isn't just about a "piece of paper." We know we don't need a "piece of paper" to validate our love and our family. But, what we do need is the right to marry so that I can adopt our daughter. I won't be on her birth certificate. That's my DNA in Autumn's belly (we used my egg, how cool is that?!) and I have zero rights to my own DNA because I can't marry that baby's mother. Autumn has to write permission slips for me to take my biological daughter to the doctor. This is what many don't realize when they say "it's just a piece of paper." ‪#‎education‬ ‪#‎gaylife‬ ‪#‎reality‬" -mg, FB status, 11/7/14

http://www.freedomtomarry.org/states/entry/c/michigan

mjg

Warm the heart, enliven the senses, inpsire the soul

 

Thank you Scentsy, for providing the vehicle for me to shine [by just being me].

Wine Country

One of my favorite escapes, literally and figuratively.

Grapes.
Everywhere grapes. Duh.
With these rows and rows upon intricate rows, envisioning the labors of love in these vineyards morph into a respect for the those bottles and bottles on shelves everywhere.
Hills that roll into more hills that roll into more hills.
An irrigation silo painted beige and then painted with trees on it which actually makes it stand out more than had they just painted it exclusively with treetop foliage. Irrelevant, but bothersome enough to make mention.
Hummingbirds by day, crickets by night.
Open windows, open doors. Light bending its way around every corner and in through every unshielded gap.
Peace. Quiet. Sun. Rainclouds. No wind at all.
No breeze, but the freshest air I've breathed in months.
The most incredible serenity felt. A natural diminishing blood pressure.
No phone service, but an outer world signal just to touch base.
Trevor Hall. Diet Coke. My keyboard.
I can hear my brain think.
I may never leave.

How simple and important is the reminder that we live so crazy & fast-paced? It takes less than 24 hours in a place like this to realize I spend a lot of time on so many time-wasting brain-tiring activities that yield little daily reward. When I'm at home, a place I love and consider to be my sanity-safe-haven, I find myself  beebopping from one room to another, constantly busy...doing nothing. So consumed while doing one thing with the next thing I'm going to do, that the tin foil roll ends up in the refrigerator.

Running to-do lists that please only the compulsive compartment of my brainspace. Without conscious recognition, life can read like a shampoo label: Wash. Rinse. Repeat. I get in bed. I get up again. I fill 18 or so hours with whatever before I'm threading a leg back into pajama pants. No misunderstanding, I'm not a waste of space, as this is lending to sound. Just need that bumpcheck once in a while that whether doing nothing or something, result can be the same, if not consciously purposeful.

But then there's this retreat - a serene backdrop filled with cohabitant bugs that for some reason bother me a lot less than they would buzzing through my front foyer at home. Here, I just don't care.

Man, it's healthy to get away.
Serenity, shine down on me. Because I yearn to feel it.

mjg

Reality Check

|Wishes aren't bad. But, be careful what you wish for.|

there are days i wake up and think "i wish someone paid me to sit in front of my computer and just write. about whatever i wanted to write about."
i picture mid-morning sunlight beaming through narrowly open blinds. i open the window to let fresh air bellow in. i brew a full pot of coffee, clench my warm mug, lean back in my chair, and relish in this wonderful set of moments.

But let's be real. If this were your life, you would yearn for a job a little less dependent on your creativity.
and. You hate coffee.

mjg

The Hard Truth About Following Your Passion to Do Work You Love

October 25, 2013
By Jessica Sweet

How many times have you heard stories like these?
A woman loves making pottery, so she decides to open a little shop to sell her wares.
A man is passionate about writing, so he quits his job to focus on his first novel.
Then… wait for it…
Nothing happens.
Nothing. No customers, no readers, no clients. Zilch.

They return to the world of the “working dead” with their tails tucked between their legs and their egos bruised. But, worst of all, they’ve lost faith in the kind of world where they can make a living doing something they love.

But it didn’t have to be that way.

The hard truth about “following your passion”

We believe money will follow if we do what we love, but it’s a dangerous recommendation.

It makes sense that you’d make the most money when you do something you’re interested and invested in. When you bring your heart and soul to work, the work should earn you more than when you’re dragging yourself in every day.

Right?

As a career coach, I’ve seen it happen again and again. Clients get excited about their idea for a passion-based business. They start making plans, they mentally decorate their new offices and they wonder how their boss is going to take it when they’ve made enough money to quit. And they do all this without taking into account the biggest myth.

When it comes to earning money doing what you love, you have to remember:
Right now, nobody cares about your passions.
It isn’t about you.
It isn’t about your passion.
It’s about your clients and customers: what you give to them, what you do for them and how they benefit from knowing you. You have to make them care about your passion so much they’ll pay you to do it. (Click here to Tweet this thought.)

The Hollywood Principle

Many people blindly follow their passion, believing their love for it will be enough to make them successful. But they fail to factor in what I call The Hollywood Principle.

The Hollywood Principle states that no matter how passionate you are about something, nobody cares about it simply because you do.

If you want clients or customers, you need to be concerned with why they should care about what you’re doing, even when you’re doing what you love.

People fleeing the corporate world — the world of 9-to-5, dictated eating and bathroom schedules — tend to equate a passion-based business with freedom. They want the freedom to be their own boss, the freedom to be in charge of their own time and the freedom to do whatever it is they love.

With this mindset, they throw caution to the wind and do what they love without regard for The Hollywood Principle. They pursue their venture with the love and compulsion characteristic of passions.

But it all goes horribly wrong because they forget to connect what they love to something others will care about. They’re so engrossed in doing what they love and why it matters to them that they forget to look up and show others why they should care about it, too.

Don’t be fooled into thinking you have to contort your passion-based business into something it isn’t to find potential clients and customers. You’re not out to find any market need and fill it. That’s the old way of doing business, and also how you’ll end back up with something that feels like a “job.”

The real challenge is to persuasively communicate the gift of your passion, your mission and your unique value.

Your unique value

You’ve probably heard about unique value from the worlds of personal branding and job hunting. But in this case, instead of unique value being about who you are and the value you offer, it’s about what you’re really here to do.

Are you an expert at making pretty, functional pottery, or are you helping people to experience something through your work?

Are you writing a great novel, or are you on a mission to make people think about an issue so profoundly meaningful to you it’s a part of who you are?

Unique value for passion-based workers is very close to the heart. It’s why you do what you do. It’s the heart and soul of who you are.

You can start looking for your unique value by knowing what you love to give so much you can’t help giving it (your mission). Once you’ve found that, it’s your job to make other people care about it, too. Don’t just expect that other people will “get it.” Show them why they should care.

A passion with a mission behind it is a world-changing force.

Your challenge

If you dream of doing work based on your passion, answer these unique value questions in the comments below:

Why do you do your passion?

What do you bring to the table that no one else does?

What would you love to contribute to the world?

Spend your time doing something you absolutely love, and move away from wasting your life on things that don’t matter to you. Now is your chance to define what matters and why others should care about it as much as you do.

Jessica Sweet, LICSW, is a life and career coach who can help you uncover your passions and make money doing work you love.If you hate your current job, but going off the grid and moving to Zimbabwe isn’t your idea of a good time, it’s time to do what you love in a way that fits your real life. Join Jessica at http://wishingwellcoach.com/.

Brazen powers real-time, online events for leading organizations around the world. Our lifestyle and career blog, Brazen Life, offers fun and edgy ideas for ambitious professionals navigating the changing world of work.

mjg

Is what it is

it's having 117 apps on your phone

and only using about 21.

yes, I have that many emails.

no, i will never simplify.

yes, i will just accept it.

i used to hang my clothes over my desk chair at my parents house.

now I have a grownup jet-tub to hang them over.

yes, i'm a creature of habit.

no, i will not outgrow some things.

yes, i will just accept it.

it's about being okay with it and moving on.

mjg

P = R

sometimes a shower feels like the most amazing thing in the world

sometimes a shower feels like just another to-do list item

perception=reality

mjg

Monday, from my desk.

1. In order to inspire, you must be inspired. In order to motivate, you must be motivated. You can teach leadership, but there's no guarantee a leader will emerge nor lead. One thing is certain, per Isaac Newton: "An object that is at rest will tend to remain at rest. An object that is in motion will tend to remain in motion."

2. I'm finding myself to be very nostalgic lately. I'm also finding I want to document EVERYTHING with pictures & words. Self-appointed historian, right here. Insert Autumn saying "She would make a scrapbook of her scrapbook." 

3. My music mood for Monday is currently undetermined.

4. I've been craving salad for 24 hours, which makes me question "who craves salad?!"

5. Aside from all that, today is going to be a really, really good day, for no other reason than I'm breathing.

mjg

Mental Floss

the epitome of all things my brain.

Mental Floss.

i swear, written just for me.

mjg

Road Rage

There's a road here in Michigan that's all the rage.

So is it's associated exit number.

Just another Michigan nugget for you.

mjg

Ahhhh, yes.

yes. yes.yes.yes.yes.

mjg

Friday, from my desk.

1. I bought more Washi Tape. I couldn't help it. (Autumn, before you lecture me, I bought you some surprises to cancel out the fact I bought more Washi Tape. Guaranteed at the word "surprises" you forgot I bought more Washi Tape. Except that, I just ended my sentence with the reminder. So, Surprises!)

2. The sun is beaming through my window, which means time to take My Shadow outside and toss the ball to him a couple times while I work in my garage office to prep some Scentsy goodies. 

3. So over the moon thrilled that Steve Utash is breathing on his own and speaking. Even more thrilled the 5 mobsters that attacked him are being punished. Another case you may or may not have heard of on the local news, about the man who enslaved 4 African children here in MI? I served on that jury, and am pleased to announce his sentence was issued this week. AND. Police have arrested a 16-year-old in connection with last week’s murder of 24-year-old father-to-be Nathan Trapuzzano. Kudos go to you today, law enforcement.

4. A hairstyle upgrade & some new glasses can make you feel brand new.

5. Fun plans scheduled for every minute of this weekend, so I then say:
Aside from all that, today is going to be a really, really good day, for no other reason than I'm breathing.

mjg

Thursday, from my desk.

1. Today is just cool. Life is a miracle & meant to be cherished.

2. I am 690 Scentsy bars or 99 Premium warmers or well, $3446 away from having personally sold $200,000 in Scentsy products since February of 2008. Now, if only I had the square footage of all the areas I've scented in that time frame, or the number of smiles I've put on faces since journey's start. THOSE numbers would be awesome.

3. Lots of you are getting hooked on Springpad, based on yesterday's discussion here. I love sharin' my sweet finds!

4. Aside from all that, today is going to be a really, really good day, for no other reason than I'm breathing.

mjg

Happy Office Walls

PAPAYA ART (www.papayaart.com)

Alas, my white office walls shall smirk back at me.
hammer & nails needed
hashtag no shoes required
hashtag inspiring
hashtag creativemind=love
my office. my place. all mine.

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” ― Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

Art is the most intense mode of individualism that the world has known.

Oscar Wilde

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_art.html#v86HGy8mprCOl7iP.99

Art is the most intense mode of individualism that the world has known.

Oscar Wilde

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_art.html#v86HGy8mprCOl7iP.99

mjg

Tuesday, from my desk.

1. Ellie Goulding. I don't know what it is, but I love her voice|music|lyrics.

2. Today is going to be better than yesterday, because you can't go backwards and change yesterday's events, but you can face today with optimism & impact your present & future set of moments with a positive mind.

3. The more productive I am, the better I feel about EVERYTHING in my universe.

4. I'm really, really thankful for Autumn today and never want to wake a day and not be super appreciative of her. Reminder: Stop often and smell the roses & don't take anything for granted, for life is way, way short, yet precious.

5. Aside from all that, today is going to be a really, really good day, for no other reason than I'm breathing.

mjg

The best damn meatballs

1 bag of Costco meatballs
1 bottle of Carolina BBQ sauce
1 bottle of Hickory BBQ sauce
2 cans of jellied can cranberries
1 crockpot on low for 4 hours

Bam. You just scored yourself s'more dish-to-pass invitations.

mjg

Write Right.

"Others might not ever want to be a writer, but you should still care about writing. I’ll tell you why: it’s an incredible tool for learning about yourself. And if you’re an effective writer, you’re an effective communicator, thinker, salesperson, businessperson, persuader." - Leo Babauta

 Word(s).

mjg

 

Smitten with the Mitten

There's something about Michigan. Something to being able to hold your hand up and point to where you live. In fact, I'm so used to showing out-of-staters where I live using my hand, that I once posed the same question to a friend of mine: "Your state is a rectangle (I turned my Michigan hand 90degrees). Where on my hand do you live?" She couldn't answer. I couldn't fathom. It's just what we do here.

There's something to the hearts of those who've been born here, have grown here, and those who have even left and returned.

 Then there's this speck in the "palm-pad" of the state, a speck the locals refer to as "The D." It's energy runs through the veins of those born into its culture. There's a lot of bad, yet, so, SO much good.
---
Detroiters are proud of their city's rich industrial history and fond of the recognition they receive for living in the world's automotive capital. Nicknamed The Motor City, Detroit gave birth to electronic (techno) music and, of course, the Motown sound. Detroit celebrates its first-class status and lays claim to a number of fabulous firsts.

Detroit...

• is home to the Motown sound founded by Berry Gordy Jr. in 1957
• is the potato chip capital of the world, based on consumption
• has country's largest island park within a city – Belle Isle Park
• is home to the world's only floating post office, the J.W. Westcott II, can be found on the Detroit River
• is home to one of the largest flower-bedding markets in the world – Eastern Market
• is second in the nation in the sale of fishing rods
• is home to one of the tallest hotels in North America – the Detroit Marriott Renaissance Center, at 73 stories
• receives freighters from more than 100 world ports on the Detroit River
• has the most registered bowlers in the United States

Detroit was the first city nation to:

• Assign individual telephone numbers (1879) 
• Hold a state fair (the Michigan State Fair was the first held in 1849) 
• Pave a mile of concrete road (on Woodward Avenue between Six and Seven Mile roads in 1909)
• Install a traffic light, manually operated by a staff of policemen (1915) 
• Share an automobile traffic tunnel between two nations (United States and Canada, 1930) 
• Develop an urban freeway (the Davison in 1942) 
• Taste an ice cream soda (when a clerk at Sanders confectionery ran out of sweet cream and in desperation used ice cream in 1875. The rest is history!) 
• Hear the clickety-clack of a typewriter (invested in 1829 by Detroiter Austin Burt)
• Enjoy morning coffee brewed in an automatic coffeemaker (the Coffee Clock invented by George Schuler)
• Drink milk from a paperboard carton (by Pur-Pak in 1930)

Additional Fascinating Facts about Detroit
Detroit is the oldest city in the Midwest, and the only one from which one can look south to Canada.

The Ambassador Bridge, linking Detroit with Windsor (Ontario, Canada) is one of the longest international suspension bridges in the world.

James Vernor, who owned a Detroit drugstore and was Michigan's first registered pharmacist, developed the world's first carbonated drink in 1866. The Boston Cooler (vanilla ice cream and the ginger-flavored soda) is a classic Detroit taste sensation. The drink apparently was named for the city's Boston Boulevard, not the city in Massachusetts.
Detroit has Henry Ford, the man who put America on wheels, to thank for the advent of snack food. He allowed workers on his assembly line to take short breaks, which led to the trend of workers purchasing small bags of food that could be quickly consumed.

Cold Duck, the bubbly blend of wine and champagne, was introduced to Detroit at the Pontchartrain Wine Cellars, a former downtown Detroit restaurant.

The Eastern Market, a major commercial food distribution center famous for the quality, freshness and variety of its produce, meat, fish and even flowers, has been in existence since 1892.

In 1915, the first Kiwanis Club began in Detroit.

Detroit's downtown turn-of-the-century trolley cars, complete with old-fashioned, uniformed conductors, operated along Washington Boulevard and Jefferson Avenue.  The vintage trolley cars made their Detroit debut in 1976. The electric-powered cars were built in England, Germany, Portugal and the United States between 1895 and the 1920s.
Source: http://www.detroitmi.gov/Visitors/AboutDetroit/FascinatingFacts.aspx
---

I'm a Michigan girl. And it's different here. And I could spend hours and hours writing, trying to explain the steady pulse that rhythmically beats against a backdrop of burnt out street lights. But I can't explain it to those who aren't from here. It's just something you're born with, or born into.

Pride, through & through.

mjg